(author of “Parents Need to
Eat Too”) recently blogged for The New York Times about her picky eater, and it
got me to thinking. I’m fortunate in that my kids probably fall in the middle
of the pickiness range. One willingly eats odd things like mussels and clams,
but steadfastly refuses fruit; the other will eat every fruit under the sun but
she won’t touch shellfish. Their tastes don’t concern me all that much, with
two important exceptions. One, I want to make sure they’re getting a balanced
diet (I was recently relieved to learn that potatoes are a good source of
Vitamin C). Two, their reluctance
to try things curtails my enthusiasm for making new dishes. They’re just kids,
and I get it, but if I make a fancy new dinner and they don’t go for it, I feel
like I’ve wasted my time. I don’t just cook to feed myself—I cook to feed
everybody. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting stuck in a rut, but that’s another
story.
Koenig sought expert help from a registered dietician Ellyn
Satter, who had a few suggestions, including, “stop talking about food at the
table.” Koenig, who is a food writer, said that that would be hard, but she’s
trying it. The idea makes a lot of sense to me. When I think back about how I
grew up, we never discussed food around the table, and just about all my
siblings have sophisticated palates. I never had sushi until I was in my
twenties, and I don’t think I tasted arugula until I was well out of college.
Parents of our generation tend to make too big a deal about who is eating what,
and when.
It will do everyone a heap of good to back off on the
subject, and turn to other things that are happening with your kids. We all live atomized lives, with work
and fill-in-the-blank afterschool activities keeping us apart. Don’t waste the
moments around the table together fighting over that last (or that first!)
green bean.
That’s an interesting approach. I don’t really remember food being a topic of conversation at my dinner table growing up.
This makes sense. I’ve never thought about not talking about food at the kitchen table. I’ve never been a picky eater, if anything, I’m a curious eater. I love trying new things and I want my kids to be the same way.
yes, stop talking about it so g-d much! i try not to make much of my daughter’s preferences day to day…this falls in the annoying category of “interpreting” everything my child does, so common among 30-something moms with one child. my girl “don’t like” beets, salads, noodles, whatever the h— one day, loves them the next. we create the narrative. by limiting all the talking/interpretation we allow them a greater breadth of experience.